"My vigilance never ceases. What will you do, when my gaze wanders ever from your face?"
"I will watch you. Watching the stars. And for a thousand thousand years I would be content."
...with a very heavy, stiff, thankfully non-smelly dead raccoon slung over your shoulder in a big garbage bag thunking you on the back with every step.
Someone apparently thought it would be funny to position a dead raccoon on the trail, belly down with one paw wrapped around a beer bottle and a pack of cigarettes. I must confess, as raccoon seems to have died of natural causes, I thought it was kinda funny too. But! T'was setting a very poor example for all the other forest beasties (drunken raccoons we do not need - they're bad enough sober!) and some of the human park guests found it distressing, so raccoon was removed and given a more dignified return to the circle of life.
The vet came on Friday to do the check ups on all the critters (for my USDA permit I have to have an on-site vet visit once a year). They sent the new vet in the office since I do most of the handling - piece of cake, they told her, it'll be an easy housecall for you, no problem. I didn't expect her to go right for the skunk's face O_o Long story short, CHOMP! Jazz the skunk got her good, right on the finger. She was fine... once we go the bleeding stopped...>_> but I felt really awful, nonetheless. And then when Luna the skunk got her rabies shot she bled all over the kitchen floor (she's fine, too, just looked impressive for a bit there). My kitchen looked like a crime scene or something!
I was checking my email at work and decided to glance through my spam, which I hadn't done for awhile, just to make sure that nothing important was getting shunted in there, and found myself just giggling hysterically. Some of it was pretty standard fare, but...is it just me, or have the male enhancement spammers gotten a lot more creative/strange with their titles? Anyway, have a sampling, in case you are missing out in your own email, lol (warning for some crude, as you can imagine, but nothing too shocking I think):
( 'If you had a goldfish'...whut? Some of these don't even make sense! )
For the record, the questioner was an adorable little laddie in the first grade in my school program on Friday, and what he meant was "How do frog eggs get laid?"
I managed to keep the poker face and answer the question he meant, just barely - if I'd made eye contact with any of the other teachers and parents I'd've been lost! Whoo, hee - some days I really love my job :D
I tried my hand at writing a leetle story, mid high schoolish or thereabouts. It was both my first attempt at writing down any of the silly little fantasy journeys going on in my head, as well as the last attempt, until I discovered fanfic (Holy COW! You mean I'm not the only one in the ENTIRE WORLD that makes up stories about books/TV/movies in their heads?! I'm still gleeing over that one ^_^). English wasn't my focus, and even the classes I did take didn't involve any creative writing - it was all literary analysis type stuff, which usually involved the teacher telling me what I thought the author was trying to say was not what the author was trying to say. (I will concede literary analysis is not one of my skillz, but just how did they know what the author really meant, is what I want to know! Most of these authors were dead, were they consulting their spirits? *hmphs*)
So, recently, getting on to the topic of way nifty underground trees withseikk andtainry reminded me of this little bit that I had done before I rather gave up on fiction writing of any sort, other than the odd poem tossed out every now and then. I went poking about and actually found it! Written on a typewriter. An electric typewriter, not a manual *iz old but not yet ancient* :P It was...horrifying to read it, to say the least, lol (dear sweet golly gee, was I really THAT YOUNG? And, I have this sneaking suspicion that I've not matured much since then. When I think of the insanely talented things I've seen some folks of high schoolish age writing around here...). Anyway, just for fun, and as an exercise in bravery, I thought I'd post it here - just look how far I've come! Or not, lol. 1517 words. I'm actually quite impressed with my spelling and grammar - 'twasn't half bad!
( Click here for happy ending )
( Click here for Exhibit A )